A Guide for Families After a Death
The first decisions don't have to be overwhelming. Here's what you need to know—and what can wait.
| a_guide_for_families_after_a_death.docx |
First -notify the funeral home
If your loved one is in a:
The funeral home will coordinate with the facility regarding the transfer of your loved one.
2. PROVIDE THE INFORMATION NEEDED. Your funeral home will need information to complete the Vital Statistics / Death Certificate information.
Have as much of the following available as possible:
3. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO: FINAL DISPOSITION
☐ Burial
☐ Cremation
If burial:
☐ Cemetery selected
☐ Existing cemetery space
☐ New cemetery space needed
If cremation:
☐ Cremation container
☐ Urn
☐ Final placement of cremated remains
“What happens to the cremated remains? Families sometimes make the cremation decision without thinking through the final destination.
Possibilities may include:
4. DECIDE ABOUT A SERVICE
WILL THERE BE A SERVICE?
☐ Funeral service
☐ Memorial service
☐ Graveside service
☐ Church service
☐ Funeral home service
☐ Service at another location
☐ Private family gathering
☐ No formal service
WHO WILL LEAD THE SERVICE?
☐ Clergy
☐ Funeral celebrant
☐ Family member
☐ Friend
☐ Other
5. PERSONALIZE THE SERVICE: PRINTED & DIGITAL MEMORIALS
Would you like:
☐ Register book
☐ Service folders/programs
☐ Prayer cards
☐ Memorial folders
☐ Bookmarks
☐ Memorial video
☐ Memory table
☐ Photo display
☐ Guest book alternatives
☐ Live streaming/recording
☐ Obituary / death notice
And:
☐ Newspaper or online publication
☐ Funeral home website obituary
☐ Social media announcement
6. SELECT THE APPROPRIATE MERCHANDISE IF BURIAL
☐ Casket
☐ Outer burial container / vault
☐ Burial clothing
☐ Cemetery marker/headstone
IF CREMATION
☐ Cremation container
☐ Urn
☐ Urn vault, if applicable
☐ Memorial jewelry or keepsake, if desired
☐ Final disposition container
7. PRESERVE MEMORIES
BEFORE YOU SAY GOODBYE
Ask whether the family would like:
☐ Fingerprints
☐ DNA preservation
☐ Hand/footprints, when appropriate
☐ Hair keepsake
☐ Clothing or personal-item keepsake
☐ Photographs
☐ Other memorial keepsakes
Some things cannot be replaced. If there is something you may wish you had later, ask your funeral director before the opportunity is gone.
8. DON'T FORGET THE PERSONAL DETAILS
PERSONAL WISHES
☐ Clothing for your loved one
☐ Jewelry or personal items to be included
☐ Jewelry/personal items to be removed and returned to family
☐ Favorite photographs
☐ Special objects or memorabilia
☐ Special music
☐ Readings or Scripture
☐ People who should participate in the service
9. MILITARY & SPECIAL BENEFITS
If your loved one was a veteran:
☐ Locate DD-214 / military discharge papers
☐ Ask about military honors
☐ Ask about eligible cemetery benefits
☐ Ask about a veteran's cemetery
☐ Provide military service information to the funeral home
10. CEMETERY & GRAVE INFORMATION
If burial is involved:
☐ Cemetery selected
☐ Existing grave location verified
☐ Ownership documented
☐ Opening/closing arrangements
☐ Grave marker/monument arrangements
☐ Cemetery restrictions reviewed
11. THE FUNERAL HOME CAN HELP WITH THE PAPERWORK
Depending on the circumstances and funeral home's services, ask about:
12. THINGS TO HANDLE AFTER THE FUNERAL
☐ Order additional certified death certificates
☐ Contact life insurance companies
☐ Contact banks and financial institutions
☐ Contact pension/retirement plans
☐ Contact employer
☐ Address Social Security benefits
☐ Address veterans' benefits
☐ Review estate/will/trust
☐ Contact attorney, if needed
☐ Contact accountant/tax professional
☐ Deal with utilities, subscriptions and accounts
☐ Secure the deceased's home and belongings
Important: Families don't need to accomplish all of this immediately. Some things can—and should—wait.
Remember: You don't have to make every decision today.
Ask questions.
Take your time when possible.
Let someone you trust sit with you.
And don't be afraid to tell your funeral director:
“I don't know what we're supposed to do next.”
That's exactly what the funeral director is there to help you with.
If your loved one is in a:
- Nursing home
- Hospice program
- Hospital
- Other care facility
The funeral home will coordinate with the facility regarding the transfer of your loved one.
2. PROVIDE THE INFORMATION NEEDED. Your funeral home will need information to complete the Vital Statistics / Death Certificate information.
Have as much of the following available as possible:
- Full legal name
- Social Security number
- Date and place of birth
- Father's full name
- Mother's maiden name
- Marital status and spouse's name
- Education
- Occupation
- Military service information
- Highest level of education
- Residence
- Next-of-kin information
3. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO: FINAL DISPOSITION
☐ Burial
☐ Cremation
If burial:
☐ Cemetery selected
☐ Existing cemetery space
☐ New cemetery space needed
If cremation:
☐ Cremation container
☐ Urn
☐ Final placement of cremated remains
“What happens to the cremated remains? Families sometimes make the cremation decision without thinking through the final destination.
Possibilities may include:
- Cemetery burial
- Columbarium
- Mausoleum
- Home
- Scattering, where permitted
- Other memorialization
4. DECIDE ABOUT A SERVICE
WILL THERE BE A SERVICE?
☐ Funeral service
☐ Memorial service
☐ Graveside service
☐ Church service
☐ Funeral home service
☐ Service at another location
☐ Private family gathering
☐ No formal service
WHO WILL LEAD THE SERVICE?
☐ Clergy
☐ Funeral celebrant
☐ Family member
☐ Friend
☐ Other
5. PERSONALIZE THE SERVICE: PRINTED & DIGITAL MEMORIALS
Would you like:
☐ Register book
☐ Service folders/programs
☐ Prayer cards
☐ Memorial folders
☐ Bookmarks
☐ Memorial video
☐ Memory table
☐ Photo display
☐ Guest book alternatives
☐ Live streaming/recording
☐ Obituary / death notice
And:
☐ Newspaper or online publication
☐ Funeral home website obituary
☐ Social media announcement
6. SELECT THE APPROPRIATE MERCHANDISE IF BURIAL
☐ Casket
☐ Outer burial container / vault
☐ Burial clothing
☐ Cemetery marker/headstone
IF CREMATION
☐ Cremation container
☐ Urn
☐ Urn vault, if applicable
☐ Memorial jewelry or keepsake, if desired
☐ Final disposition container
7. PRESERVE MEMORIES
BEFORE YOU SAY GOODBYE
Ask whether the family would like:
☐ Fingerprints
☐ DNA preservation
☐ Hand/footprints, when appropriate
☐ Hair keepsake
☐ Clothing or personal-item keepsake
☐ Photographs
☐ Other memorial keepsakes
Some things cannot be replaced. If there is something you may wish you had later, ask your funeral director before the opportunity is gone.
8. DON'T FORGET THE PERSONAL DETAILS
PERSONAL WISHES
☐ Clothing for your loved one
☐ Jewelry or personal items to be included
☐ Jewelry/personal items to be removed and returned to family
☐ Favorite photographs
☐ Special objects or memorabilia
☐ Special music
☐ Readings or Scripture
☐ People who should participate in the service
9. MILITARY & SPECIAL BENEFITS
If your loved one was a veteran:
☐ Locate DD-214 / military discharge papers
☐ Ask about military honors
☐ Ask about eligible cemetery benefits
☐ Ask about a veteran's cemetery
☐ Provide military service information to the funeral home
10. CEMETERY & GRAVE INFORMATION
If burial is involved:
☐ Cemetery selected
☐ Existing grave location verified
☐ Ownership documented
☐ Opening/closing arrangements
☐ Grave marker/monument arrangements
☐ Cemetery restrictions reviewed
11. THE FUNERAL HOME CAN HELP WITH THE PAPERWORK
Depending on the circumstances and funeral home's services, ask about:
- Death certificates
- Burial/cremation permits
- Social Security notification
- Veteran benefits
- Cemetery coordination
- Crematory arrangements
- Obituary
- Insurance assignments/claims
- Transportation
- Clergy or celebrant coordination
12. THINGS TO HANDLE AFTER THE FUNERAL
☐ Order additional certified death certificates
☐ Contact life insurance companies
☐ Contact banks and financial institutions
☐ Contact pension/retirement plans
☐ Contact employer
☐ Address Social Security benefits
☐ Address veterans' benefits
☐ Review estate/will/trust
☐ Contact attorney, if needed
☐ Contact accountant/tax professional
☐ Deal with utilities, subscriptions and accounts
☐ Secure the deceased's home and belongings
Important: Families don't need to accomplish all of this immediately. Some things can—and should—wait.
Remember: You don't have to make every decision today.
Ask questions.
Take your time when possible.
Let someone you trust sit with you.
And don't be afraid to tell your funeral director:
“I don't know what we're supposed to do next.”
That's exactly what the funeral director is there to help you with.